Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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