I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The best revenge is premature balding
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
