I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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