she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
