If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
