You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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