if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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