Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
