your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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