i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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