You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize