State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
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I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
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Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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