You work out of a Hotel?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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