I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
