you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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