No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
