In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
