If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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