his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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