his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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