I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
