is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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