Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
