Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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