I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
