in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
