I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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