I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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