Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
