there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
