the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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