i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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