loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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