I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
