Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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