Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
whose parrot is this?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
