Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
