also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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