one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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