Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
