Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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