You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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