Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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