So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
