So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
