DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.