I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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