My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
thus making me awesome and them whores
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.