sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.