Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
