yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize