That's when you crack a 10am beer
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
