you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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