32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
