I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
