what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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