Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
