Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
